Hilarious Water Leak:
Read Story Then Watch
Submitted by Barbara and Andie Dowdy
Did you ever have a water bill you thought was too high? Maybe you have a
problem like these folks.
Jennifer and Jim kept getting huge water bills. They knew beyond a
doubt that the bills weren't representative of their actual usage, and
no matter how they tried to conserve, the high bills continued.
Although they could see nothing wrong, they had everything checked for
leaks or problems: first the water meter, then outdoor pipes, indoor
pipes, underground pipes, faucets, toilets, washer, ice maker, etc. --
all to no avail.
One day Jim was sick and stayed home in bed, but kept hearing water
running downstairs. He finally tore him self from his sick bed to
investigate, and stumbled onto the cause of such high water bills.
Apparently this was happening all day long when they were not at home.
Knowing that few would believe him, he taped a segment of the 'problem'
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Excerpts from Pet Diaries
Submitted by Karen Lockwood of North Olmsted, Ohio (AffordableBridals.Com)
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe...for now...